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Chapter 3: On Prayer–Prayer as Relationship

(Continuing on in the process of blogging my book Brokenness to Beauty: Transforming Your Brokenness into a Beautiful Life. I’ve been skipping through the chapter on Prayer, posting portions of it for you. I am convinced prayer is an important aspect of our lives, in both the good times and hard times of life. It is a lifelong learning process as well. I hope you will read on and come along with me on this journey of sharing my thoughts on prayer to encourage us as we go through the ups, and especially the downs, of life. Your feedback is valuable to me. Please leave your comments.)

Prayer is not about conjuring and magic. It is not about coercing God, or persuading Him to do something we ask.  Prayer is about relationship with our heavenly Father (Matthew 6: 9), the Everlasting God. He is the God who is Lord and Master over all. He is Sovereign and has the last say, not us. And like the loving heavenly Father He is, He knows what He has planned for us and others, and what will be best for us in the greater scheme of things, because He does have a greater scheme of things. He acts out of who He is, for our good, and to accomplish His greater purposes. In prayer we seek His mind, that is, His will, for how to pray about things and people.

Oswald Chambers said, “Worship and intercession must go together, the one is impossible without the other. Intercession means we rouse ourselves up to get the mind of Christ about the one for whom we pray. Too often instead of worshipping God, we construct statements as to how prayer works….We hurl our own petitions at God’s throne and dictate to him as to what we wish Him to do. We do not worship God, nor do we seek the mind of Christ[1].”

Boy, that hit home with me. How often I have prayed that way, hurling my petitions at God, telling Him what I think is best, trying to convince Him to see things my way, mentally trying to work out the solution to the problem I’m asking God about. I wasn’t seeking the mind and will of God, I was trying to convince God of my will. Thankfully God hasn’t given up on me as a hopeless case! He has been patiently teaching me to pray over the years.

Prayer is about relationship, relationship with God. Prayer is not about demanding from God what we want, telling Him when and how to answer our prayers; it is about finding out what God wants to accomplish. What Chambers said about intercession (praying for others) holds true for prayer for ourselves. We must seek His mind, His purposes, as Christ did in the garden of Gethsemane.

[1] Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, (Grand Rapids: Discovery House Publishers, 1963),  March 30 selection

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Chapter 3: On Prayer–Prayer: just do it … but how?

For years I struggled with praying to God in a heartfelt, meaningful and appropriate way. I say appropriate because after all, I was coming to the Lord and Creator of everything, who is also my heavenly Father.  My heart yearned to communicate with God sincerely, yet I usually ended up feeling frustrated, feeling I was falling short. Though I had read the Psalms and other prayers in the Bible, I hadn’t picked up on elements of approaching God in prayer which were within those portions of scripture.

I remember when I was introduced to a simple way of approaching God, easy to remember, one that was rooted in the scriptures, called the ACTS of prayer (prayercentral.net) . You could use four fingers on one hand to remind yourself of the acrostic, which stand for the following:

 A is for Adoration. Approach God in humility, reverence and awe and worship Him for who He is. We learn about Him as we read and study the Bible. He is Holy and we must approach Him as such (Luke 11: 2).

C is for Confession. Sin acts as a wall between us and God, effectively blocking our prayers (Isaiah 59:2). We need to be sensitive to God’s Spirit on a daily basis, as He speaks conviction to us, and confess and repent of all known sin as soon as we are aware of it (I John 1: 8, 9). That way, communication with God remains open.

T is for Thanksgiving. The greatest acceptable sacrifice we can make to God, along with laying our lives at His feet as a living sacrifice, is that of thanksgiving and praise (Hebrews 13: 15).  Our prayers are to be seasoned with them.

S is for Supplication. This is the part we normally think of as prayer: asking God for something (Luke 11: 9, 10).  Our requests must be couched in the reverence and worship due God, seeking first His will in the matter, purged of known sin through confession and repentance,  wrapped in trust and infused with thanksgiving.

The disciples of Jesus apparently had feelings and experiences with prayer similar to mine for they asked Him to teach them to pray:

“Now it came to pass, as He was praying in a certain place, when He ceased, that one of His disciples said to Him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples.’

So He said to them, ‘When you pray, say:

Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us day by day our daily bread.  And forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’” (Luke 11:1-4, NKJV)

In this prayer we can see quite well the elements of the ACTS of prayer: Adoration, Confession, and Supplication. Though Thanksgiving is not obvious in this prayer, thankfulness is clearly taught throughout the Bible in such passages as:

“Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.” (Psalm 100:4, NKJV)

“[D]o not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6, 7, ESV)

Another is:

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which you were called in one body; and be thankful.” (Colossians 3:15, NKJV)

The scriptures are full of psalms and prayers and from them we can learn the proper manner in which to come to God, and what to pray for. We need to look for and carefully study them as we read our Bibles.

Practice coming to God in a way similar to prayers in the Bible, psalms and the way the simple ACTS acrostic teaches us. This is not formulaic prayer, it is prayer learned from God’s word itself. This type of approach to God is what I am trying to learn and do. It has been working for me, guiding me into the presence of God in a manner worthy of Him. There are other similar, biblical approaches to prayer. Find one which resonates and use it. They are only means to an end: Prayer— just do it!

 

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Chapter 3: On Prayer–Personal Petition

Do prayers affect outcomes? We wouldn’t pray if we didn’t believe they did. From the testimony of scripture and my own personal experience, I can say with absolute certainty, yes, prayers make a difference. I whole heartedly agree with James when he said:

“Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with. Elijah, for instance, human just like us, prayed hard that it wouldn’t rain, and it didn’t—not a drop for three and a half years. Then he prayed that it would rain, and it did. The showers came and everything started growing again.” (James 5: 16-18, The Message)

Praying for Oneself

            “Prayer is weakness leaning on omnipotence.” W.S. Bowd

As I drove away from the doctor’s office yesterday I felt like crying. And I did a little. I had just been to the cardiologist who gave me the results of three heart tests I had done two weeks ago. I already knew I have irregular heartbeats and was put on …          medication but the tests also showed my heart is weak and functioning at 35 % [ejection fraction] rather than a much higher percentage. So I was also put on another heart med .… So I felt my throat tighten up and I silently cried out to the Lord as I drove away …. My cardiologist said she doesn’t know if the weakening of my heart is related to the chemotherapy I received (there are two drugs which I did receive that can cause heart problems). Before my cancer surgery last February I had heart tests done and they came back normal. My current test results are being sent to my oncologist …. I am not overburdened with this news but I am saddened. A feeling of mild sadness lays on me. I think it is similar to what the psalmist may have felt sometimes when he would say, “How long, Lord?”  I really can’t describe my feelings. I only know how I respond to my feelings, and that is to cry out to God, who hears. Sometimes I don’t even have words; I don’t even know what I am feeling to be able to form words. But that is ok, because he listens to my heart. I don’t need words. He gives me peace. I am praying and asking God to heal me of these conditions, strengthen my heart and regulate the beats. (http://jacquesjourney.blogspot.com/  brackets and emphasis mine).

Somewhat different from intercessory prayer which focuses on praying for others, is prayer for our own selves, asking God about things which are dear to our hearts or for needs which are sorely felt. How often I have cried out to God for myself!

“I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time—waking and sleeping. It does not change God—it changes me.” Attributed to C.S. Lewis.

I pray.

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Chapter 3: On Prayer–Different Types of Prayer

In its simplest terms prayer is talking to God. There are many different kinds of prayer [1], and though this is by no means a treatise on the subject, I will touch on a couple types of prayer for my purposes here: Intercession and Personal Petition.

Intercessory Prayer

Thank you many times over for your prayers of faith for me, and Randy. Please don’t give up! (from my blog  http://jacquesjourney.blogspot.com/)

Intercessory prayer is praying for another person or group of people. It is coming to God on behalf of another.  Jesus, as our Great High Priest in heaven, has this ministry to us now, standing before our heavenly Father, speaking on our behalf, advocating for us (I Timothy 2:5; Hebrews 4:14, 15; 7: 24, 25). He is our perfect Advocate, like the very best courtroom lawyer. He lived here as a human and understands us perfectly, and because He always pleads for us according to God’s will, He is always heard[2].

The Spirit of God, who lives in those of us who trust Jesus for salvation, intercedes for us as well with groans that cannot be put into words (Romans 8:26). And of course, His intercession for us is done perfectly and according to the will of God because the Spirit of God knows what the will of God is (Romans 8:27).

So we, too, are told to intercede for others, praying to God on their behalf (I Timothy 2: 1-4; Ephesians 6:18, 19). In my mind I picture intercession this way: When I intercede for a friend I step between my friend and God and plead her cause, like a trial lawyer would do for his client before the judge. Of course, because my understanding is finite I must seek out the mind and will of God in the whole process. God’s knowledge is infinite; He knows what is best for my friend. Since my knowledge is limited I would just be guessing unless I ask the Lord for insight in how to pray for the very best outcome for my friend. Even in my uncertainty of how to pray for my friend, as I continue to seek His mind, I have the certainty that God will answer according to His will, for my friend’s good and His glory.

[1]  An excellent book on types of prayer is Richard J. Foster’s Prayer: finding the heart’s true home (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1992)

[2] Hebrews 5:7-10; 4:14-16

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Chapter 3: On Prayer–The First Communicator

The scriptures often refer to God as loving, listening to, and blessing those who fear the Lord[1], who hold him in reverence and seek to live by His word. He is and always will be God—holy—much “other” than us. He is Creator, we are His creation. We must always approach Him in humility and with reverential fear. As the prophet Micah, in 6:8, put it so well, “He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?”

We walk (live) before Him in humility and approach Him in prayer (talk to Him) with the same humility. Pride can’t coexist with humility, or with God! Oswald Chambers said, “only a child gets his prayers answered” [2] , and referenced Matthew 11:25, where Jesus thanked His Father for revealing His truths to children, not the wise and learned of the world. The truths of God are made known to those who have faith in and walk humbly with Him, like a child.

But who started the conversation?

God.

He has been initiating communication with mankind since He first created us. He blessed Adam and Eve, our first parents, telling them to have children and populate the earth. He gave them meaningful work, instructing them to be the overseers and caretakers of His creation, in fact, to rule over it; and He gave them the authority and provision to carry it out (Genesis 1:27-30).

Remember when God came to the garden when He walked and talked with Adam and Eve, the wind in the trees announcing His arrival? God was involved in their daily lives. Even after they ran and hid from Him because they had rebelled against the one thing He told them not to do—eat from the tree in the midst of the garden— He called out to them. God initiated communication. He desired Adam and Eve’s companionship and He desires ours as well. He likes being with us[3].

God initiated communication with us. He wants us to reciprocate. One way we do that is through prayer, in its many different forms.

[1] “The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever …” (Psalm 19:9); “Oh, how great is Your goodness, which You have laid up for those who fear You, which You have prepared for those who trust in You in the presence of the sons of men!” (Psalm 31:19)

[2] Oswald Chambers, ed. James Reimann, My Utmost for His Highest, ( Grand Rapids: Discovery House Publishers, 1992), October 17 selection.

[3]   Deuteronomy 30: 8-10; Psalm 18:19; Psalm 105:43

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Chapter 3: On Prayer

(This section begins Chapter 3 of the book Brokenness to Beauty: Transforming Your Brokenness into a Beautiful Life. One of the most important elements, in my mind, in walking through the dark valley of trials and suffering and coming out the other side whole and stronger, is communication with God. Therefore, I have written this chapter on Prayer. Not an exhaustive study of prayer, mind you, but things shared from my heart and experience of prayer. Again, I’m blogging portions of the chapters I’ve written, not the entire book. Send me your helpful comments.)

Chapter Three–On Prayer

 

Speak to Him thou for He hears, and Spirit with

Spirit can meet–

Closer is He than breathing, and nearer than hands

and feet.[1]

 

Prayer is as integral a part of my life as breathing. I cannot imagine not being able to pray because prayer is communicating with God; talking to Him in the ordinary days of life, sometimes crying out to Him with tears in the trying times of life.

One morning, as my husband and I sat on our porch to pray together, we waited in silence, enjoying the beauty of the day. We are no strangers to silence; we are comfortable with it. We quiet our hearts and focus on God as we come into His presence. We do not feel we have to fill the silence with our words. When we feel like saying something to God aloud, we then speak. That day we ended up not praying a word out loud, but we enjoyed that beautiful time in company with God, praising Him for the beauty around us, communing with Him in our spirits as though He was sitting on our porch swing with us—for He was with us. Jesus said, “where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them” (Matthew 18: 20, NKJV).

I like to think of God with us like He was early on with Adam and Eve. “They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool [breeze, wind] of the day…” (Genesis 3:8, NKJV). Though in this verse Adam and Eve ran and hid themselves from God because they had sinned against Him, I’m sure, based on previous verses, that prior to that day they had gone companionably walking and talking with God when He came into the garden to meet with them. In my imagination I see them eager to share their day’s experiences with God and to hear what He had to say to them.

I love the concept of hearing the sound or voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the breeze of the cooling evening as the sun was setting. They heard the familiar rustle of the leaves of the trees and bushes and knew God was coming for a chat.

We, too, can have such a relationship with God.

[1] Alfred Tennyson, “The Higher Pantheism” from The Holy Grail and Other Poems, (London: Strahan, 1870)

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–Wholeness for Bits and Pieces

When I began blogging my book, Brokenness to Beauty: Transforming Your Brokenness into a Beautiful Life, I stated I would be blogging only portions of my book manuscript not the whole of the book; that is reserved for the published version.

This post is the final part of my second chapter, The Importance of the Bible. The next post after this one will start the chapter I designated for Prayer. But let me now wind up my thoughts on how important I believe the Bible is to our movement from brokenness to wholeness.

I had begun chemotherapy and my husband, Randy, and I were contemplating a weekend away in San Diego to celebrate thirty-five years of marriage before he flew back to West Virginia. I wrote in my blog of us and our relationship to God and His Word:

God has been our “traveling companion” all these years. Where would we be without Him? We shudder to think. So how crazy would it be to look anywhere else than to Him for continuing the journey? He alone has “the words of eternal life”, as Peter so aptly put it so very long ago.

I believe the Bible is vitally important as a foundation for our lives and as a stabilizing factor in our times of trouble. It played a major role in my life by pointing me to the Lord, encouraging me in times of fear and uncertainty, and giving me perspective and hope in the midst of the upheaval of my circumstances. Through regular reading and study of God’s Word, with the goal of putting God’s truths into practice in my life, I have been able to maintain balance and wholeness mentally, emotionally and spiritually during times of physical and emotional distress. I have experienced over and over again the exchange of fear for peace: my fear for the peace of God. I maintain this is available to all who look to the Lord in the same way.

At all times, but especially when we are hurting, whatever the source of that hurt, we need that which is beyond and above ourselves and our human limitations; we need the God who spoke and still speaks today through His eternal Word. His words minister life and hope to us. This whole world will pass away, but God’s Word will last forever.

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–Building on the Foundation

If I am to build a strong life on this foundation of God’s Word, I must build well. It matters how I build my life and with what materials. I am convinced the Bible must hold a place of high priority in my life. I must make time to get into the Word, reading it, thinking about what I read and studying it, with the goal of putting it into practice.

As a young adult I made decisions to study the Bible for myself and grew in my understanding of God and His dealings with people. I learned, and am still learning, from my own study of the Word of God.  I also benefit from the good teaching of men and women of God. Study goes beyond simply reading the Word. How often someone, tasked with preparing a Bible study to present to others, has commented on how much they learned as they prepared. They put much more thought and effort into the passage(s) of scripture than those who come and only listen, and they benefitted the most for their own study.

I am no Bible scholar, to be sure, but having learned some basic Bible study methods and tools (Bible study helps) to use, I have been able to glean important truths and applied these to my life over the years. This knowledge-translated-into-life has helped me stand stronger when hit with the storms of life.

Like my dad and uncles who learned how to properly wield the tools of carpentry and construction so they could build solid, lasting structures, so I have been learning to build a strong life by reading, studying and doing the Word of God. It is a lifetime pursuit. And the storms haven’t flattened me yet! From my cancer blog:

            Waiting on the Lord. I am again reading through the book of Isaiah (I highly recommend it) and today read chapter 40. Wow. These passages are so amazing and powerful. They feed the soul, build one’s faith. We neglect the reading and study of the Word of God to our own detriment. God had these words written down for us! I am so thankful He did that. I pray we will always be able to have the Word of God and that those who do not now have it, will be able to get it. I pray that we will eat it as food and be changed by putting into practice what God has said.

I encourage others to also form the habit of making time to spend reading and studying the Bible, listening to what God has to say on a regular basis, not just sporadically. Jesus said it is the one who hears and does his words that will be the one to make it through the storms of life intact. That person will not simply make it through by the skin of his teeth, but will thrive in the midst of suffering and struggle.

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–Time to Breathe

I remember one especially difficult juncture in my cancer treatment. I did not have enough information to feel comfortable with the direction I thought the cancer surgeon was going, in fact, I had a lot of fear, so I postponed the decision until I looked into it further, with much prayer. Here is where putting into practice what the Bible says played a big part in getting me through a distressing time. When the issue was resolved, I wrote in my blog:

And as to fear; fear will come. It is how we deal with it that is important. I went to the Lord (Phil.4:6), recognizing the fear and anxiety rising up in me. I cried out (to God) for help, wisdom, direction, knowledge. I turned to my most trusted confidante and wise counselor, my husband Randy, and we talked and prayed. His insights and encouragement helped me work through a very difficult situation. I sought out others I respect for their counsel, especially those who have gone through these same waters. I continued to seek sound medical advice.

It is agonizing going through the trial, feeling the suffocating fear, the desperate need. But God has proven Himself once again to be compassionate, and faithful to hear our prayers. He gave the information we needed. He gave it within the time frame I asked.

I have found the scriptures to be true and trustworthy. When we put them into practice, those things we cannot do on our own, God does! When I was overcome by fear, but gave my fears to God, I got God’s peace instead, just like He said (Phil.4:6). He guided me to a wise decision. This is just one example. There are so many more.

The issue of how to deal with troubles and suffering in life is spoken to in the Bible and if we pay close attention we can learn to transform these ugly, hurtful things in life into beautiful things which lift up and encourage us and others, and bring glory to God.

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–Self-pity or Trust?

Self-pity is nothing to trifle with; it is destructive and from the devil, that old deceiver. It must be dealt with immediately and ruthlessly.

Daily I set out for my thirty minute walk. When the weather was clear I could see the mountains—not always the case in southern California—and my heart would rejoice. Having the mountains, or a lake, or the ocean, or even a garden to look at was like refreshment to my soul. I would feel my spirit expand as I drank in the vista. Weights on my spirit seemed to fall off as I realized how big God is and how wonderful His world. I always talked with God as I walked, like we were on a walk together. One day I wrote in my blog:

Just this past week I was walking … and talking with the Lord and asking forgiveness for and strength against self-pity. That is one thing that is so terribly damaging and destructive. I want no part of it. So I have to resist it when it raises its ugly head. I realized that I need to raise my sights and look at God’s bigger world, (its) great needs and His heart of compassion for those suffering. So many are spiritually dead and need life only He can give. So many brothers and sisters in the faith are struggling and suffering terribly. I need to care more, pray more for them …. Perspective.

The Word of God lifts our eyes off ourselves and gives us that new perspective. It elevates our vision to the greater world around us, not the false world of just me.

When difficulties come into our lives we almost immediately want to ask “Why?”, or “Why me?”, or “Why this?” Scripture calls us to wait on (hope in) God and trust completely in Him, seeking His grace to move ahead through the situation.  There are hints in scripture of the “whys” of troubles in our lives, and that they will come, but our concern should be with how we deal with them. It goes back to the act of bowing to God’s Sovereignty, rather than demanding our own way. As much as I want to be in control, I am not, but God is. Getting to that point of trust in God is crucial to maintaining sanity, as I call it, in the midst of suffering.

Amy Carmichael, missionary to India in the early part of the last century, said, “Trust, I have learned, means: to lean on, to place the weight of my confidence upon (Young’s Analytical Concordance) …. And after this discovery, I’ve found many verses in the Psalms that provide great comfort when translated in this way. For instance, ‘I have trusted in (leaned on, placed my confidence in) your lovingkindness’ Psalm 13:5).”[1]

Lean all my weight, place all my confidence in the God who has proven Himself faithful and able to do the impossible. This is what I need to do, especially during the hard times of trouble in my life. Amy Carmichael lived that truth and spoke from the seat of one who suffered. I listen to her.

[1] Amy Carmichael, I Come quietly to Meet You, (Minneapolis: Bethany House, 2005), 15