Category: Book “Brokenness to Beauty”

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Chapter 3: On Prayer

(This section begins Chapter 3 of the book Brokenness to Beauty: Transforming Your Brokenness into a Beautiful Life. One of the most important elements, in my mind, in walking through the dark valley of trials and suffering and coming out the other side whole and stronger, is communication with God. Therefore, I have written this chapter on Prayer. Not an exhaustive study of prayer, mind you, but things shared from my heart and experience of prayer. Again, I’m blogging portions of the chapters I’ve written, not the entire book. Send me your helpful comments.)

Chapter Three–On Prayer

 

Speak to Him thou for He hears, and Spirit with

Spirit can meet–

Closer is He than breathing, and nearer than hands

and feet.[1]

 

Prayer is as integral a part of my life as breathing. I cannot imagine not being able to pray because prayer is communicating with God; talking to Him in the ordinary days of life, sometimes crying out to Him with tears in the trying times of life.

One morning, as my husband and I sat on our porch to pray together, we waited in silence, enjoying the beauty of the day. We are no strangers to silence; we are comfortable with it. We quiet our hearts and focus on God as we come into His presence. We do not feel we have to fill the silence with our words. When we feel like saying something to God aloud, we then speak. That day we ended up not praying a word out loud, but we enjoyed that beautiful time in company with God, praising Him for the beauty around us, communing with Him in our spirits as though He was sitting on our porch swing with us—for He was with us. Jesus said, “where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them” (Matthew 18: 20, NKJV).

I like to think of God with us like He was early on with Adam and Eve. “They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool [breeze, wind] of the day…” (Genesis 3:8, NKJV). Though in this verse Adam and Eve ran and hid themselves from God because they had sinned against Him, I’m sure, based on previous verses, that prior to that day they had gone companionably walking and talking with God when He came into the garden to meet with them. In my imagination I see them eager to share their day’s experiences with God and to hear what He had to say to them.

I love the concept of hearing the sound or voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the breeze of the cooling evening as the sun was setting. They heard the familiar rustle of the leaves of the trees and bushes and knew God was coming for a chat.

We, too, can have such a relationship with God.

[1] Alfred Tennyson, “The Higher Pantheism” from The Holy Grail and Other Poems, (London: Strahan, 1870)

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–Wholeness for Bits and Pieces

When I began blogging my book, Brokenness to Beauty: Transforming Your Brokenness into a Beautiful Life, I stated I would be blogging only portions of my book manuscript not the whole of the book; that is reserved for the published version.

This post is the final part of my second chapter, The Importance of the Bible. The next post after this one will start the chapter I designated for Prayer. But let me now wind up my thoughts on how important I believe the Bible is to our movement from brokenness to wholeness.

I had begun chemotherapy and my husband, Randy, and I were contemplating a weekend away in San Diego to celebrate thirty-five years of marriage before he flew back to West Virginia. I wrote in my blog of us and our relationship to God and His Word:

God has been our “traveling companion” all these years. Where would we be without Him? We shudder to think. So how crazy would it be to look anywhere else than to Him for continuing the journey? He alone has “the words of eternal life”, as Peter so aptly put it so very long ago.

I believe the Bible is vitally important as a foundation for our lives and as a stabilizing factor in our times of trouble. It played a major role in my life by pointing me to the Lord, encouraging me in times of fear and uncertainty, and giving me perspective and hope in the midst of the upheaval of my circumstances. Through regular reading and study of God’s Word, with the goal of putting God’s truths into practice in my life, I have been able to maintain balance and wholeness mentally, emotionally and spiritually during times of physical and emotional distress. I have experienced over and over again the exchange of fear for peace: my fear for the peace of God. I maintain this is available to all who look to the Lord in the same way.

At all times, but especially when we are hurting, whatever the source of that hurt, we need that which is beyond and above ourselves and our human limitations; we need the God who spoke and still speaks today through His eternal Word. His words minister life and hope to us. This whole world will pass away, but God’s Word will last forever.

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–Building on the Foundation

If I am to build a strong life on this foundation of God’s Word, I must build well. It matters how I build my life and with what materials. I am convinced the Bible must hold a place of high priority in my life. I must make time to get into the Word, reading it, thinking about what I read and studying it, with the goal of putting it into practice.

As a young adult I made decisions to study the Bible for myself and grew in my understanding of God and His dealings with people. I learned, and am still learning, from my own study of the Word of God.  I also benefit from the good teaching of men and women of God. Study goes beyond simply reading the Word. How often someone, tasked with preparing a Bible study to present to others, has commented on how much they learned as they prepared. They put much more thought and effort into the passage(s) of scripture than those who come and only listen, and they benefitted the most for their own study.

I am no Bible scholar, to be sure, but having learned some basic Bible study methods and tools (Bible study helps) to use, I have been able to glean important truths and applied these to my life over the years. This knowledge-translated-into-life has helped me stand stronger when hit with the storms of life.

Like my dad and uncles who learned how to properly wield the tools of carpentry and construction so they could build solid, lasting structures, so I have been learning to build a strong life by reading, studying and doing the Word of God. It is a lifetime pursuit. And the storms haven’t flattened me yet! From my cancer blog:

            Waiting on the Lord. I am again reading through the book of Isaiah (I highly recommend it) and today read chapter 40. Wow. These passages are so amazing and powerful. They feed the soul, build one’s faith. We neglect the reading and study of the Word of God to our own detriment. God had these words written down for us! I am so thankful He did that. I pray we will always be able to have the Word of God and that those who do not now have it, will be able to get it. I pray that we will eat it as food and be changed by putting into practice what God has said.

I encourage others to also form the habit of making time to spend reading and studying the Bible, listening to what God has to say on a regular basis, not just sporadically. Jesus said it is the one who hears and does his words that will be the one to make it through the storms of life intact. That person will not simply make it through by the skin of his teeth, but will thrive in the midst of suffering and struggle.

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–Time to Breathe

I remember one especially difficult juncture in my cancer treatment. I did not have enough information to feel comfortable with the direction I thought the cancer surgeon was going, in fact, I had a lot of fear, so I postponed the decision until I looked into it further, with much prayer. Here is where putting into practice what the Bible says played a big part in getting me through a distressing time. When the issue was resolved, I wrote in my blog:

And as to fear; fear will come. It is how we deal with it that is important. I went to the Lord (Phil.4:6), recognizing the fear and anxiety rising up in me. I cried out (to God) for help, wisdom, direction, knowledge. I turned to my most trusted confidante and wise counselor, my husband Randy, and we talked and prayed. His insights and encouragement helped me work through a very difficult situation. I sought out others I respect for their counsel, especially those who have gone through these same waters. I continued to seek sound medical advice.

It is agonizing going through the trial, feeling the suffocating fear, the desperate need. But God has proven Himself once again to be compassionate, and faithful to hear our prayers. He gave the information we needed. He gave it within the time frame I asked.

I have found the scriptures to be true and trustworthy. When we put them into practice, those things we cannot do on our own, God does! When I was overcome by fear, but gave my fears to God, I got God’s peace instead, just like He said (Phil.4:6). He guided me to a wise decision. This is just one example. There are so many more.

The issue of how to deal with troubles and suffering in life is spoken to in the Bible and if we pay close attention we can learn to transform these ugly, hurtful things in life into beautiful things which lift up and encourage us and others, and bring glory to God.

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–Self-pity or Trust?

Self-pity is nothing to trifle with; it is destructive and from the devil, that old deceiver. It must be dealt with immediately and ruthlessly.

Daily I set out for my thirty minute walk. When the weather was clear I could see the mountains—not always the case in southern California—and my heart would rejoice. Having the mountains, or a lake, or the ocean, or even a garden to look at was like refreshment to my soul. I would feel my spirit expand as I drank in the vista. Weights on my spirit seemed to fall off as I realized how big God is and how wonderful His world. I always talked with God as I walked, like we were on a walk together. One day I wrote in my blog:

Just this past week I was walking … and talking with the Lord and asking forgiveness for and strength against self-pity. That is one thing that is so terribly damaging and destructive. I want no part of it. So I have to resist it when it raises its ugly head. I realized that I need to raise my sights and look at God’s bigger world, (its) great needs and His heart of compassion for those suffering. So many are spiritually dead and need life only He can give. So many brothers and sisters in the faith are struggling and suffering terribly. I need to care more, pray more for them …. Perspective.

The Word of God lifts our eyes off ourselves and gives us that new perspective. It elevates our vision to the greater world around us, not the false world of just me.

When difficulties come into our lives we almost immediately want to ask “Why?”, or “Why me?”, or “Why this?” Scripture calls us to wait on (hope in) God and trust completely in Him, seeking His grace to move ahead through the situation.  There are hints in scripture of the “whys” of troubles in our lives, and that they will come, but our concern should be with how we deal with them. It goes back to the act of bowing to God’s Sovereignty, rather than demanding our own way. As much as I want to be in control, I am not, but God is. Getting to that point of trust in God is crucial to maintaining sanity, as I call it, in the midst of suffering.

Amy Carmichael, missionary to India in the early part of the last century, said, “Trust, I have learned, means: to lean on, to place the weight of my confidence upon (Young’s Analytical Concordance) …. And after this discovery, I’ve found many verses in the Psalms that provide great comfort when translated in this way. For instance, ‘I have trusted in (leaned on, placed my confidence in) your lovingkindness’ Psalm 13:5).”[1]

Lean all my weight, place all my confidence in the God who has proven Himself faithful and able to do the impossible. This is what I need to do, especially during the hard times of trouble in my life. Amy Carmichael lived that truth and spoke from the seat of one who suffered. I listen to her.

[1] Amy Carmichael, I Come quietly to Meet You, (Minneapolis: Bethany House, 2005), 15

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–Good Habits

During my fight against cancer I remember well my struggles with fear and pain and uncertainty every day, crying many tears to God. I can see myself sitting in the bedroom we occupied in my son and daughter-in-law’s home while I went through a year and a half of cancer treatments. Though my husband was able to be with me a few months of that time, most of that year and a half he was back in West Virginia working, while I was in California. Every day I turned to the Bible and poured out my heart to God in prayer as I read His Word. I once wrote in my blog:

The scriptures, God’s words to us, sustain me daily. They are our life. They bring the only light to this dark path.

I meant it then and I believe and practice it today. My routine of reading the scriptures, which I continued through cancer treatment, stood me in good stead by getting me back into the Word of God. It nurtured me daily, calling me back to the foundation of my life, giving me not only encouragement and hope, but perspective. The scriptures acted like a compass guiding me through the wind and waves of the storm in which I found myself. Even when I couldn’t see farther than my own hand, so to speak, the compass of God’s Word enabled me to continue to move in the right direction, in hope and trust in the Lord. It gave me that which was beyond me, beyond my limited vision and understanding.

In the midst of trials we can lose perspective. Pain and suffering tend to make us look inward and our world, as a result, contracts. It becomes very small, since it consists of and revolves around only “me”. Me, myself and I can be very poor company. We need that which pulls us up and out beyond ourselves because in suffering we are in danger of sinking into the morass of self-pity. Self-pity is nothing to trifle with; it is destructive and from the devil, that old deceiver. It must be dealt with immediately and ruthlessly.

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–God Calling

C.S. Lewis said, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts to us in our pains: It is his megaphone to a deaf world.”

Traumatic interruptions in our lives, like cancer or other illnesses, economic reversals, suffering and death of loved ones, abandonment and divorce—name the struggle—these can be doorways to greater understanding and growth when we allow our devastation to be turned to education by God. When I found myself flat on my face before God because I had been dealt a blow which had knocked me flat, I realized there is no One else to go to but God. I cried out to Him, humbled my heart before Him and an amazing thing happened. The whole tenor of my experience began to change from despair to hope by letting God teach me, comfort me and draw me to Himself.

” It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn your statutes.” (Psalm 119: 71)

From other women cancer survivors I heard comments to the effect that when they were diagnosed with cancer they were devastated; it was the hardest time of their lives. Cancer caused them to cry out to God in their desperation and fear; they were thrown onto God as never before and they found He was there for them. Things in life they had previously taken for granted suddenly took on new, deeper meaning. Looking back, they were actually glad for the experience—a shocking thought—because they now had a closer walk with the Lord, one which they felt they might not have had apart from going through that time of suffering. To them, this experience was worth the pain and suffering to be closer to God. That should give us pause (God’s megaphone?).

I have heard similar comments from people who have gone through other types of trials as well; there are many kinds of suffering in the world, not just physical.

Marj, a friend of mine, relates that she and her husband were happily married for many years, and since they had no children, their world revolved around the two of them. As she puts it, “It was Bill, God and me.” Then Bill was diagnosed with cancer. They bravely fought it together, Marj by Bill’s side through it all, and as Christians they trusted God to bring Bill’s healing. But it didn’t come. My friend lost the love of her life. She was cast upon the Lord—alone. Four years later Marj says, “You know, it used to be Bill, God and me. Now I look up and say, ‘Sorry Bill, God’s first now, he’s taken over your place.'” You know, I think Bill is in heaven smiling. Marj grew in her relationship with God when she had nowhere else to go for comfort and strength in her grief, and He was there.

These times of trial can be opportunities for us to turn to God and reach out to Him as never before. Those who do, as I did, as Marj did, find grace for the difficulties; strength, comfort and God’s presence with us through the dark valleys.

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–Foundations

I remember when I was a child my dad and my uncles sometimes got together and built a shed or garage, or poured concrete for foundation footers or a driveway. To me this was fascinating work. All the tools of the men’s world came out and man tasks commenced: measuring to fine detail, hammering, sawing, drilling; loud man talk and sweat and hard labor, these men working together. The result would be a fine finished product. There’d be smiles and jokes and backslaps, knowing they’d done a good job.

Watching my dad and uncles and overhearing their talk, I learned a building needs a foundation to be strong and last a long time. I heard about foundations being laid so a structure could be built securely on top of it.

Learning about foundations for buildings helped me grasp the truth of having a good foundation for my life. This is a different kind of foundation but extremely important. I understood better what was meant when Jesus talked about a house built on a rock, its foundation:

“Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and acts on them,

may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock.

And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew

and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall,

for it had been founded on the rock.” (Matthew 7:24)

Hearing and putting into practice the words of Jesus guarantees a good foundation and a strong life. Notice it is not just the hearing the Word but the doing of what is heard that makes a strong life.

I had the great benefit of learning about God when I was a child growing up, being taught the scriptures and observing the lives of those around me. From the Bible I learned that Jesus died on the cross bearing on Himself the sin of all of us, rose from the tomb and ascended to God the Father’s right hand for the forgiveness of our sins. Then He sent His Spirit to live in those who trust in Him, giving us the ability to live a new life in His power. Having put my faith in Him as a child, even when I was alone in my hospital room as a young teenager I never felt alone because I knew He was with me.

Foundations were laid in my life, strong foundations rooted in the Bible, upon which I have been building my life, seeking to put Jesus’s words into practice, and though I haven’t done it perfectly I am still pursuing that way of life as a learner of Jesus.  And to this point, my life has stood the tests of many storms … proving God’s Word is true.

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–The Source of Hope

We have the idea we can pray for patience as though it is a commodity God gives us, like our daily food. But patience, or perseverance, is an attribute which is developed in us by choice and use, in the midst of difficulties. Like practicing to become proficient on a musical instrument, we must practice patience. We must persevere. It isn’t handed to us like a piece of toast, but when we choose to persevere God comes alongside us and helps us.

When we persevere through difficulties and gain encouragement from the scriptures, hope is produced in us. What do we say of someone who gives up, who quits, who doesn’t persevere? We say they have given up hope, they become hope-less. It is through hearing what God has to say through His Word that we are encouraged to go on, to persevere; hope is renewed.

Many people have commented on how strong I am and have been through all that has happened to me. Let me be the first to say, I am not strong.  But I thank God I know who is: Jesus Christ, the living son of God, my Savior. I cry out to him in prayer and listen to Him speak to me in the Bible and there is where I find strength and comfort, the encouragement I need to persevere. From this I gain hope. The source of hope is not within me; it is in communicating with the living God, reading His words and talking to Him in prayer, that I find grace and strength to help me get through each day. I wrote in my blog:

Today I begin chemotherapy. I am nervous, apprehensive, I do admit. Lord, take my fears and anxious thoughts. I need your peace now.

“I am in pain and distress, may your salvation, O God, protect me.

I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.

This will please the LORD more than an ox, more than a bull with its horns and hoofs.

The poor will see and be glad—you who seek God, may your hearts live!

The LORD hears the needy and does not despise his captive people.” (Psalm 69:29-33)

 

And God gave me peace.

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Chapter 2: Importance of the Bible–Decisions, Decisions

When I made the decision to praise God, it was really the decision to submit to His Sovereignty in my life, just like my dad did when he gave me up to God. All the rest of my decisions have been shaped by that initial choice, and my emotions trailed along behind. The Bible played a key role in this decision and the consequences flowing from it.

“For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope”. (Romans 15:4)

These two things, perseverance and encouragement of the scriptures, are important factors in getting through tough times. The scriptures are full of encouragement because they are about God’s dealings with people, people just like you and me. Here is an excerpt from my first blog, written days after my first cancer surgery:

What is hopeless and impossible with man is not so for God, for all things are possible with God. Am I scared? Of course I am. Do I have anger and fears? Absolutely. I cry to the Lord who hears and understands, and who alone can do anything about them. I cast myself on his mercy. If others hadn’t been in similar situations we wouldn’t have the scriptures which are full of such agonies. Now I choose to affirm my faith in the God Who Is. And He highly values faith.

Encouragement of the scriptures only comes from reading the scriptures on a regular basis. This is what I was talking about earlier, when I said I continued my reading in the Psalms after my cancer diagnosis. I had made reading scripture a part of my life, really hearing what it has to say and letting it sink in. No one hands encouragement of the scriptures to you apart from reading or hearing the scriptures. From the Bible I learned about what others have gone through down through the centuries, many of them much worse than my circumstances. I read how God was present with them and helped those who trusted in Him, and I gained encouragement in the midst of my scary situation.